MIPIM. But make it honest.

So, we're not going to MIPIM this year. It's a shame, but we thought we'd share all our takeaways from previous years and distill them into this useful and truthful article. It's MIPIM. But make it honest. AKA a short guide to what actually happens in Cannes.

Day 1

You tell yourself, “I’m here for strategic conversations," and you are ready to go. You're wearing:

• Smart shoes
• A pressed blazer
• A lanyard
• Optimism

You have a colour-coded calendar and you believe in it all.

Day 2

You're no longer entirely sure which hotel you’re in. You have:

• Said “Let’s definitely continue this conversation” 19 times
• Accepted 3 invitations you don’t remember accepting
• Nodded seriously while holding a drink you're fairly certain you didn't order
• Taken off your lanyard

Someone says “Are you going to the yacht thing?” You say yes. You do not know which yacht or which thing they were talking about.

Day 3

Everyone – including yourself – looks:

• Slightly sunburnt (or bedraggled. Or both)
• Slightly dehydrated
• Slightly philosophical
• Desperate

Someone says, “This is what MIPIM is really about.” No one knows what that means anymore.

What is real about estate anyway?

Day 4

At some point you are discussing yield compression with someone whose name might be Thomas. Or Tobias? Maybe both, you're unsure of how names work. By now, you're so tired you can't feel your mouth, overstimulated by any colour, sound or shape, and you lost your shoes at a impromptu late-night padel-off at the beach, but it's OK because your feet are so swollen the only thing you could wear are Crocs

You say, “Next year, less rosé.” You will not drink less rosé next year.

The Aftermath

You somehow make it home, and find you have:

• 73 business cards
• 14 half-finished WhatsApp threads
• 3 vague dinner plans for “when you’re next in Copenhagen”
• And one blurry photo of a yacht you never boarded

But ... you'll do it all over again, because somehow, despite the rosé logistics, the navy suits, and those ever elusive yachts, it’s still the strangest, loudest, sunniest gathering of European property energy all year.